When I grow up I want to be a movie star.

When I was 5 if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have responded "a movie star".  When I was 10 if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have responded "a movie star".  When I was 13 if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have responded "a movie star".

When I was 17 if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have responded "Broadway star".

And when I was 17 1/2 my dreams were crushed.  

Let's go back a few years.....when I was 5 I had a lot of terrible things happen in my life.  I lived in Alluwe with my Mom and Step-dad and had just started kindergarten, actually my second week of school to be exact.  If you know where Alluwe is then you know the nearest grocery shopping was about 45 minutes away.  That Saturday morning my real dad, who lived in Enid called my mom to see if he could have me for the weekend.  It wasn't his weekend, but he was coming into Claremore to visit family and wanted to see me as well.  Since my mom and step-dad needed to go grocery shopping we loaded up in their Thunderbird and took off.  This was before the seat belt laws were so strict so I rode on the middle hump all the way to Claremore.  Now, I don't remember all of this from memory, so some of what I am recalling is from what I have been told by family.  (Just a side note.)  I do remember going to my Grandma Raley's (my mom's mom) house and meeting my Grandma Holt (my dad's mom).  She was picking me up to take me to see my dad.  Now, I was five and didn't understand the whole 'real' dad versus 'step' dad.  See, my parents had me when they were 17 and they got married a year later, and divorced six months after that.  (my mom, well, that is another story for another day).  My mom married Jerry Don, my step-dad when I was two and had always lived with them.  I would see my dad every other weekend.  I know I didn't want to go for some reason that day with my Grandma Holt.  I remember crying wanting to stay with my mom, I also remember my Grandma Holt trying to get me to go with her.  My mom was about to say never mind and  put me back in the car when suddenly I stopped crying and went to my Grandma Holt.  

So, my mom and step-dad did their grocery shopping and headed back to Alluwe.  They were about 2 miles from their house when a drunk driver hit them almost head on.  The highway that you have to take to Alluwe is a two lane highway and can be extremely dangerous.  My step-dad was killed instantly and my mom fell into the floor board (she didn't have her seat belt on) and was pinned in because the dash of the car ended up at the back of the front seat.  The steering wheel crushed my step-dad's chest and the dash would have crushed my mother as well if she would have been wearing her seat belt.  Well, you can only imagine where I would have ended up if I would have went back with them that day.  The entire town of Alluwe was at the scene of the crash.  They were searching for me in ditches because the last time they saw me I was with them.   After several hours the jaws of life got my mom out of the car, they life flighted her to Tulsa.  It didn't look good.  The drunk driver had his brother and two friends with him.  They had been playing softball and drinking.  The driver was killed, as was the passenger behind him.  

I don't remember being told about the wreck.  I moved to Enid with my dad and his wife at the time.  I remember going to school there, I guess my third and fourth week of school was there.  I do remember feeling confused, scared, and alone.  I didn't understand what was going on and why I had to live with my dad and leave my home and friends in Alluwe.  I do remember missing my Dukes of Hazzard TV tray that I would eat breakfast on before school.  Why I remember that is beyond me.  I just remember I didn't have it at my dad's house.  I am sure I was a brat for my dad and his wife.  Like I said, all I remember is I didn't like her.  I thought she was mean.  Now, I know she wasn't mean to me, I'm sure it was more of a reaction from everything going on in my life.  After a few weeks with my dad I moved to Claremore with my Grandma Raley and my aunts Chris and Shannon (my mom's little sisters).  

After my mom woke up she had to find out that she lost her husband and that he has already been buried.  I can't imagine what that would be like.  She insisted that I was in the car and convinced that I was dead too.  Just no one was telling her because they didn't want to make it worse on her.  She kept on and on until they decided to bring me in to show her that I was still alive.  I do remember walking down that long, white, cold hallway at the hospital.  And I remember the nurse squatting down to my eye level telling me that my mom may look scary to me because her face had been so damaged in the accident.  She reassured me that it was my mom and not to be scared.  So, I walked into the room with my Grandma and I will never get the image out of my head.  I walked in and looked to my left.  I saw someone in the hospital bed, and I remember seeing tubes and wires all hooked into her.  When I looked at my mom in the face I screamed and cried 'that's not my mommy, that's not my mommy' and I ran out of the hospital room.  That is my only memory of visiting my mom in the hospital.  She underwent a lot of plastic surgery and physical therapy and still to this day has scars all over her body.  

While my mom was in the hospital I lived with my Grandma.  I loved my Grandma Raley so much.  I had lived with her off and on my younger years.  I remember being really upset when they wouldn't let me go to my step-dad's funeral.  They felt I was to young, and I remember throwing a big fit because I wanted to go.  I didn't sleep well.  I never wanted to go to sleep because when I would fall asleep I would have the same dream over and over again.  In my dream I would be riding in a car with my mom and step-dad and it was dark.  I remember driving and laughing and having fun, then everything would get really dark and then suddenly I would see bright lights coming our way.  They would get bigger and bigger the closer the lights came until suddenly I could tell it was a car and the car was heading right towards us.  I would scream and scream and my step-dad to watch out but he couldn't hear me and then suddenly I would awake as the car hit us.  I would wake screaming.  My grandma took me to see a psychiatrist because of the dreams and not wanting to sleep.  

When mom came home she couldn't walk because she had a cast on one leg up to her thigh and had knee surgery on the other.  She also had casts on her arms.  She went to physical therapy a lot.  She also did her own therapy, with alcohol.  Once she was able to live a somewhat normal life she started working at the bar that my grandma and my godfather owned.  She went out a lot and partied while I stayed home with my Aunt Chris and Shannon.  My Aunt Chris was pregnant with her first child and still lived at home with my Grandma.  She is the reason I passed Kindergarten.  I couldn't read or write and she worked and worked with me until I got it right.  So that Kindergarten picture of me that I have posted on my facebook page means a lot to me. I went to afternoon kindergarten and one day after school I went to the playground to wait on my mom to pick me up from school.  I waited and watched as the other kids left with their parents.  I started to get scared that she wasn't coming for me and that I hid on the playground so the teacher couldn't see me.  I don't know why I did that, but I did.  It was getting late and everyone was gone from the school and I sat and cried and cried.  My mom called my Aunt Chris and told her she forgot to get me because she had such a bad hangover.  She asked Chris to get me and so she did.  I remember hugging my Aunt Chris and telling her how much I loved her.  That is a moment that I will never forget, never.  

Eventually, my mom met a guy at the bar.  He was from Alluwe and well he had did built an add-on at my mom's house that summer before the wreck.  They started dating and then married a year later.  They are still married to this day.  I was six when they got married.  In the pictures at the scene of the crash you actually see him and his dad and brother helping out.  That is just crazy to me.  I continued on to first grade and my mom got a large settlement from the insurance company so she bought a new house for us to live in and my life got back to normal.  

So, when I was five I wanted to be a movie star.  I loved to be the center of attention and loved to perform for everyone.  It was a rough year in my life, but I know that God was just preparing me for the future.  My next post I will talk about my life at age ten. 

Vikings win their first game and the tooth fairy comes to the Reyes house once again.

Today started out great.  Ethan is such a responsible kid.  He has to be to school by 7:45am and so he gets up at 6am every morning so he can watch his shows that he records.  I would tell you what they are but I have no clue.  He watches the History and Biography channel and is so into a lot of those series they have now.  The child is full of such random facts it is insane, but useful sometimes.  So, after he has his 'quiet time' he gets ready for school, eats breakfast, and always checks to see if the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and unloads it.  (He knows his mom is a little OCD and can't leave dirty dishes in the sink and that the ones in the dishwasher are clean from dinner the night before.  He even quietly closes our bedroom door so the TV doesn't wake me up. Now if I could just get him to keep his room clean and stop being such a pack rat....I swear that drives me crazy sometimes.  I always get up by 7 so I can see him off and get the other two boys up and ready.  Well, they are another story to get ready.  Isaac is pretty good about popping up and getting ready, he just has a hard time focusing on getting ready for school and not playing ball in the house.  I mean you would think the kids would get sick of sports.  And Ely, well, If I didn't know any better I would swear to you that Joey is is real father cause he acts exactly like him.  It is crazy!!  He hates getting up, gives me the mom just five more minutes....or I'm cold I don't want to get out of bed......or mom, I am sooooo tired.  Then once he finally gets up he goes straight to the kitchen for breakfast.  That takes forever!!  He eats so slow (as does Joey)  I mean his cereal has got to be soggy after almost twenty minutes.  But after he is up and fed, he is good to go.  After all the kids were off to school I went to my 'home office' (I kept getting moved in and out of offices and finally they just told me they had to give my office to someone else.  Which is fine since I am maybe on the actual campus two hours a week).  So....I get to do my paperwork and stuff at home.  I had a college fair the night before till almost 9pm so needed to catch up on some paperwork.  Staying at home was a good choice this morning since we had some rain move in.....nice and relaxing.  I got my work done, appointments set, leads organized, and college fairs all confirmed.  Plus talked with my academic advisor today about my classes being on Monday night.  See, I finished my Operations Management class on Monday night and start Finance this coming Monday.  The class lasts for six weeks and you can only miss one night per six weeks.  Well, my work is conflicting.  On week three I have a huge fair from 6-9pm and on week six I will be traveling out of town for fairs on Monday and Tuesday so hotel room it is for me.  So, I am now taking my Finance class online starting Tuesday the 21st.  I am super excited to have my Monday nights back and not have to sit in class bored for four hours.  I can do it on my time, I really should have looked into all online classes from the beginning.  But hey the countdown to graduation has started....only four more classes to go....Finance, Marketing, Statistics, and the wrap-up ending class (can't remember the name).  I am soooooHmmmmm......makes me wonder if it is worth it.  

Well, need to go to bed now before I order some of this damn shampoo........

Isn't Sunday supposed to be the 'day of rest?'

Sunday the day of rest, hahaha, rest??  What is that? Started out the morning with shower, coffee, getting kids ready for church/baseball, managed to finish getting myself ready and pack up all of my work stuff for a college fair this afternoon.  Joey dropped off Isaac with his coach, since he is playing fall baseball they have double headers every Sunday and he had to be there at 11am.  Joey and I wanted to make sure we made it to Church, they started a new series called "Dirty Little Secrets" and really have felt lead to be at every service (you know, in need of some Jesus lately).  Ely likes the church so much that when he walked in the door he snagged his tag from me and ran down the hall to his class.  Love that!  Ethan is a big boy now and sits in service with all the adult.  So we headed to service.  I actually took notes (helps me pay attention, think I have ADD sometimes). The message was great and just what I needed.  After church was over I quickly kissed Joey and ran out the door to work the Tulsa College Connections Fair.  I hate the weekend and night fairs, but thankfully there are not very many.  This fair officially kicks off my 'busy season' I rolled in with all my stuff, set up my table, and waited for the parents and kids to come through.  Standing on your feet in heels on concrete for four hours is not fun, but got several good leads for this year.  Being a high school recruiter is fun, I get to travel, visit schools, do presentations about our school and how important college is.  At 4:05pm I had all my stuff packed up (after the first 10 fairs you learn to set-up and pack up in minutes) and I then headed out the door.  During the fair Isaac had two games, they lost both, but oh well.  Isaac played first base, pitched, and then third base.  Had a mom give me updates via text messages to keep up.  Joey had to make sure Ethan and Isaac made it to a birthday party and then headed to Isaac's game. 

Rolled in to the house around 4:30pm, heated up left-overs for dinner and chilled for a few minutes on the couch.  Got my weekly phone call from my new sister A'lisha and spent the next 2-3 hours (lost track) on the phone with her, got about 30 years to catch up on, so the conversations last a while.  She is coming with her family October 1st-11th, so we made our plans to see each other. While I was talking to her, Joey managed to help out with laundry, boys did dishes, took baths, cleaned their rooms (daily battle) and went to bed.  (Thanks honey for helping out) got off the phone around 10pm and  realized, oh crap, I forgot I have to take my final for my operations management class.....ugh, hate the finals!!  I decided to work on the test with my friend and classmate Molly, so we did it via Skype.  Well, I have never done Skype before so I set that up and Molly was super amazing on giving me pointers with using it.  Loved it.  We took the 42 question test in less than two hours and scored high enough that I should get all my points.  Yippee!  After that, I put together our learning team paper....fun stuff.  Joey gave up on me and went to bed as I was working on the paper. 

So, now it is almost 1:30am, I am still up, need to get up around 6:30am to get the kids off to school, input my leads into a spreadsheet, call and cofirm my attendace to my upcoming fairs, re-stock my supply for my fair at Union High School from 5-8pm.  I usually have class on Monday nights from 6-10pm, but I can't be there since I have the fair.  Sucks because I will lose 4 participation points.  (I really think they should give you the points if you have to miss due to work, but well, not that easy I guess).  So, my Monday will be busy.  Joey has football practice for Ely, Isaac has football practice, and well Ethan has swim practice.  Not sure how I am getting ethan to and from swim yet.....another thing I have to figure out tomorrow.  Just another day in my crazy life. 

While writing this post a show called "Children's Hospital" came on.  Ummmm can  I just say, wow.  Adult Swim is weird.  And there are several well know actors on the show.  Henry Winkler for one...just an odd show that I guess was supposed to be funny.  The best part was the preview for "Easy A", I so wanna see that show.  I know, I know, more teen-like, but wow I love the concept of the movie. 

I am going to call it a night, at 1:45 am I feel that if I don't attempt to go to sleep then I will be a real monster in the morning.......good night all......

Day One

Guess the blogging thing is catching on.  A sort of public journal.  This blog is created for me, about me, and designed clearly for me.  Ha ha ha.  Basically means I will write about my busy, busy, and even more busy life.  As you can tell it is 2am and I am still awake....my brain just doesn't know when to shut down.  It is nice and quiet in my house at this time of night.  The kids are all asleep and so is the husband.  No TV, no radio, just me.  And it sounds like a storm is blowing in so I hear the wind chimes from out back.

Let's see a quick catch up on my life right now.  Married at 19, first kid at 21, second at 23, and the last one...26.  Throughout that 9 years of marriage and kids, my life went through many, many roller coasters.  Number one, should have NEVER gotten married so young and to my high school sweetie....I mean we fought all the time why did I think it would change.  So getting married that young and not taking the theater scholarships that I had was one of the biggest mistakes that I have ever made in my life.  It created this snowball effect that up until a few years ago was spinning out of control.  The first few years of marriage were not so bad, but when the drinking started happening is when my life did for the moment.  After 5 years and a fifth and a pint of vodka a day, oh and did I mention drained not only all of our money, but his three kids accounts and even their piggy banks.  NICE....and I looked like the bad guy when I left.

Thank God no serious injuries happened.  Once he was riding his four wheeler around the pond with Isaac (did not realize this was happening) drunk.  He flipped the four wheeler and Isaac flew off almost landing in the pond, and thankfully was uninjured, just burned his leg on the four wheeler.  Another time was when he grabbed Ely our 3 month old from me and he could barely stand.  He fell with Ely and a dresser came down on them.....again the good Lord was watching out for Ely.  So....needless to say I left.  I left right after I finished my bachelors degree.  (I graduated 10 days before I had Ely, my youngest)  That was a proud day for me because I didn't get any support from my spouse.  He was a jealous, insecure type who always beat me down emotionally and all I knew was I had three boys I needed to be able to support and as a woman I needed an education.  So I got one.  Then I snapped out of it and filed for divorce.  The best decision I ever made.  My life changed completely, and for the better. After I graduated I told my oldest son Ethan that after my life settled down and all three boys were in school I would go back and get my Graduate Degree.  Well last year at this time I realized, my life is under control and extremely stable, and Ely was in school all day.  So I went and enrolled in graduate school.

I have a full-time job, three very active boys, a husband who also has a full-time job and coaches our kids, two doggies, and class every Monday night.  Pretty much have every day during the week filled with either work, games, practices, meetings, church, homework, cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry....hmmmm did I miss anything?  So how have I managed??  Well, to be honest I do not know.  I know that keeping busy is what I love to do.  If I don't have things to do, I feel like I am lazy.  (how sad is that)  Don't get me wrong, I need breaks, and quite often.  I need and demand quiet time and me time.  Do I always get it? No.  But that is okay because I know one day soon my boys will be grown and I will be done with school (in 5 months :) ) and I will have a lot of free time on my hands.  (Really want to have enough money saved to travel all over....)

So this blog will be my vent blog, what I do each and every day, and I am sure I will go back and talk about my life and how it has lead me to be the amazing woman I am today.  (Again, I had to be difficult and take the hard route to get there, but if you know me you know that is just the way I do things!)

Hope you enjoyed my little vent session for tonight, I must get to bed because the tummy is growling and it is way to late to eat anything!!

Until next time,
Lyndsey